I'm (Not) Loving It
by kingfishling
Summary: Alfred finally gets his dream job: at McDonalds. But soon he realizes it's not as great as he thinks… He should've just listened to his brother. Human!AU
**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-**

A tanned arm slides out from under the covers and slams down on the brand-new alarm clock. Upon impact, the plastic crumples and the beeping stops, fading to a high-pitched electronic whine. A mop of blonde hair emerges from the pile of blankets, and Alfred groans. That was the fourth alarm clock this week!

He fumbles for his glasses, perched on the edge of the table. Finally grasping them, he shoves the metal frames onto his face. He lets out a yawn and raises his arms to stretch, but suddenly stops.

Almost hidden beneath his comic book and band posters is his calendar, with the date circled three times. He blinks, trying to remember what event there was today (Did he forget his brother's birthday again? No, that's in September… right?) when his stomach grumbles.

Suddenly remembering, he jumps out of the comfort of his bed and rushes around his room excitedly. Today is his first day of work! At McDonalds!

He grins as he pulls on his socks. He loves McDonalds. The friendly service, the great food, and the easy accessibility are all reminders as to why he wanted to work there in the first place. He is finally achieving his dream job!

Of course, there had been a bit of dissent at first among his family. Mattie, especially, was nervous about him working there:

"Working at McDonalds isn't going to be all smiles and hamburgers, Al. It's stressful. And, you're barely getting paid minimum wage! Not to mention you've got so many assignments due! I can't keep covering for you, Professor Arthur is go-" "I'll be fine, bro! I'm the Hero, remember? Ahahaha!" "Just don't make any rash decisions, okay?"

Despite the concern of his little (older) brother, he had managed to procure a job at a branch just a few minute's jog away. He had already gone through orientation, and he now knew the ins and outs of the place. Today marks a new day! A soft thumping noise catches his attention.

His tabby cat, Hero, pads into the room, mewing softly. The blonde scoops him up and cuddles him for a second, before glancing at his watch and yelping. The surface displays the time: 6:32. His first shift starts in 20 minutes!

Dropping his cat (who lets out an irritated hiss and claws at his legs before slinking away) he grabs his change of clothes, keys and cellphone. Running out of his room, he thumps down the hall to the foyer.

"Hero! I'm leaving now! Wish me luck!" He gets no response. Pouting slightly, he continues, "I left food in your bowl! If it runs out, head downstairs to Regina, she'll feed you!" This time, his cat meows excitedly.

He rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath, "Pig." Content with the knowledge that his Mexican friend would take care of his cat, he finishes tugging on his shoes and sprints out the door.

Running down the flight of steps (the elevators in his building were so damn slow!), he arrives in the entrance, and waves goodbye to the receptionist.

As he jogs down the street with his duffel bag, he passes several other residents and gives them his trademark thumbs-up. A few of them make to chat with him, but he merely yells, "New job! Later!" and continues on his way.

As he nears the iconically yellow establishment, he stops, barely winded, and takes the few seconds he has left to slowly walk towards his future. After all, what could be more heroic than arriving exactly on time?

He stops at the employee door at exactly 6:49, and waits patiently for the time to change. Having already unlocked the door, all he needs to do now is open it. He is nervous, but the nerves are overridden by his excitement to finally be the one behind the counter!

So, at exactly 6:50, he throws open the door to his future.

And hits someone.

"Ow! Shit!" A girl with tied-back brown hair and a blue uniform on is rubbing her head and glaring remorsefully at him.

"Oh! Sorry dude! I didn't know you were there! See, it's my first day here, and I'm just so uber-excited to start serving up smi-"

His rant is cut off by the girl, now facing the deep-fry area, "Oi! Lars!"

There is a moment's pause, before a deep voice speaks up, "Yes Liz?"

"Is this the guy you were telling us about? The one who wouldn't shut up?" A tall, thin man with spiked blonde peeks out from around the corner.

Catching sight of Alfred, he sighs, "Unfortunately, yes." Liz nods once and turns to the blonde once more.

"Well then. Welcome to hell on Earth."

Liz leads him to the drink area, pointing out various employees on the way. Alfred meets Ivan, a burly Russian man busy making fries, Antonio, a peppy man who seems to just be lounging around the drive-through, Lovino, who scowls and continues taking a customer's order, Feliciana, who seems to be busy assembling burgers but gives him a smile regardless, and Madeline, an adorable, pigtailed blonde who reminds him of his brother in a way he can't quite place. And Lars, but he'd already met him at orientation.

The restaurant is near empty, with only a few people waiting for food and even less sitting down. Liz explains that in the morning, most people tend to just drive through on their way to work. This is one of the only semi-quiet moments.

Alfred just grins and takes it all in. So this is what it's like to work at McDonalds. Well, he certainly isn't complaining. The relaxed environment and smell of food seemed to call to him. Maybe he was destined to work here!

His guide leaves him at the drink station, trusting him to know what to do. He fills cup after cup of coffee, tea (bleh!), and milkshake, marking each carefully with a smiley face.

The customers are polite, and thank him as they leave. He can get used to this. Forget what Mattie said, this place is awesome.

After a bit, he switches to cover Lovino at the counter, making sure to give each and every customer a "hero-worthy smile".

An hour or so passes in this way. Halfway through his third hour he is replaced by Maddie (as he is already calling her) who smiles shyly at him and tells him to take a break. Alfred resists the urge to ruffle her hair and heads to the back room.

The room is small and neat. A table sits in the middle, with 5 chairs positioned around it, and there is a microwave and sink at the counter.

Antonio greets him as he comes in, and beckons for Alfred to join him at the table. He is eating what seems to be a raw tomato… weird, but a Hero must not be prejudiced!

"So, Alfredo, how goes the job?" Alfred ignores the fact that the Spaniard got his name wrong, and smiles widely in response.

"It was great! The customers were so polite, and even though it may seem a bit boring, I really like working here!" Antonio's smile loses its brilliance for once.

"Just wait. Soon enough you will change your mind…" Al raises an eyebrow, but his words are interrupted by Ivan bursting through the door. He looks frazzled (is that a charred bit of hair?).

"It's started," Alfred looks to his coworker in confusion, but he has already leapt to his feet and is now rushing out the door. Ivan motions for Alfred to follow.

He steps out, and instantly regrets it. The restaurant has descended into chaos. The room is packed wall to wall with people, some waiting in line, others yelling for their children. There is a huge crowd around the pick up area, where Liz and Lovino are trying their best to get the orders to the customers.

"It's the Saturday lunch rush!" Feliciana yells in his direction, rushing across the room to reheat some woman's order. In his peripheral vision, he can see a overwhelmed Maddie being yelled at furiously by a man holding onto the shirt sleeve of a struggling 6-year old boy.

He goes over and promptly relieves her of her job. As she leaves, she flashes him a grateful look. He merely winks in response.

As he turns back to the furious man, he realizes how long the line is. It seems to snake forever around the room, its size trumped only by the amount of people crowding the other side.

Returning his attentionto the furious man, he asks the customer politely (see Matthew? I can be polite!) if there is something wrong. The man practically blows up, and begins ranting about how long it's taking for his food to arrive.

Alfred glances left to the pick-up area, where Liz had been retired and replaced with Lars. He and Lovino were scrambling to hand customers the right order.

Alfred turns back to the register, "Do you have your receipt?" A piece of paper is fished out from his pockets and waved in his face. Alfred is able to make out a Happy Meal and a Muffin and Coffee before it is shoved back into his pocket.

He turns to the Italian, "Do you have a Muffin and Coffee and a Happy Meal?" Nodding, Lovino shoves a bag at him, before returning to the two women waiting in front of him.

Alfred hands it to the man with a, "Have a good day, sir!" The man grabs it and glares, releasing his hold on the boy for a second to hand him the Happy Meal and usher him out.

Alfred grins. Crisis averted! 50 points awarded to the Hero for great customer service. And then he sees the ticked-off teenager in front of him, and he gulps.

Today was going to be a very long day.

4 hours and god knows how many customers later, it's finally quitting time. For him, at least. Madeline, Lars, and Ivan are still going strong.

He grabs his stuff from the back room and gratefully leaves the still-crowded room. He feels a twinge of guilt about leaving the other guys behind, but it dissipates as he leaves the kitchen. Ah, sweet freedom!

He heads back to his apartment, feeling exhausted and in need of a good cuddle with Hero to restore his faith in humanity. Passing by a bright red Honda, he stops as he spots Antonio waving to him, a grumpy Lovino and cheery Feliciana in the back.

"Hey, Amigo!" Alfred smiles at him, but it comes out as more of a grimace. He hopes his friend won't notice. Of course, he does.

"So, already tired of working at this dump?" The Spaniard's grin is all-knowing, and though Alfred would love to agree, he has a reputation to uphold.

"Nope! I'm still loving it!" He waits a second for the man to get his pun, but if he does, he doesn't show it, "Totally worth the 12 bucks an hour."

Antonio nods. "Well, see you tomorrow, Alfredo." He winks. Alfred feels his shoulders slump a bit at that. Oh right. He had to be back again tomorrow.

Alfred waves halfheartedly. "You too!" And starts heading home, where he will take a loooong nap, devour something other than fast-food (he's had enough of it at work), and then consider completing some work for school.

And then go to bed.

And then come back again tomorrow.

Alfred hops off that quickly derailing train of thought and opens the door to his apartment. Catching sight of the destroyed house, he sighs dramatically and flops on the floor.

His cat pads up to him and curls into his side innocently. The satisfied smirk on his face (Can cats even smirk?) seemed to say, "Payback, Bitch. Shouldn't have left me alone you fucker."

Wait. Had he just..? Alfred stared at his cat.

"What? Never heard a cat speak before?"

And then he wakes up.

Sitting up in his bed, he brushes his sweaty hair away from his face and takes a deep breath. He's in his room. The house isn't clawed apart. Hero is sleeping on his legs. And he doesn't have a job. He sighs in relief.

Beside his bed, his phone buzzes. Picking it up, he squints his eyes at the screen, vision blurry without his glasses. Matthew is calling him.

He answers it with his usual obnoxious, "Hey dude!" and startles Hero awake, who meows disgustedly and slinks off to sleep on top of the fridge.

Alfred ignores him, and listens to the soft voice on the other end, "A- Al? Did you consider what I said?" Oh right. He and Matthew had been discussing back and forth for days, the reasons why (Alfred) and why not (Matthew) to apply for a job at McDonalds.

Finally, after days of this back and forth, he had decided to apply anyway. Before he could, though, his brother had asked him to sleep on it before making such a rash all, he had experience, having worked at the Tim Hortons down the street in college.

"Alfred? Are… you still there?" Alfred realized he had been zoning out, and nodded his head before he remembered Matthew couldn't see him.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"A- and… are you still going t-"

"Hell no." Alfred flashed a (heroic) grin. He could swear he heard Matthew blink before replying,

"Oh… Okay, then. I'll see you on Tuesday?"

"You know it!"

Alfred hung up and jumped out of bed, smiling as his cat rubbed up against him. Yes, it was nice to be unemployed.


End file.
